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The Big Guy Address

Three score and eighteen years ago, Joseph Robinette Biden, Sr., and Jean Finnegan Biden brought forth into Scranton, Pennsylvania, an almost inconceivable future President-Designate of the United States.

Always a poor student, Joseph R. Biden, Jr., managed to gain admission to the University of Delaware, where he graduated near the bottom of his class. He performed even worse at Syracuse University’s School of Law, where only nine students out of a class of 85 finished with a lower grade point average, though he would later make outrageously false claims about his glowing academic record.

Politically ambitious since his high school days when he was president of his junior and senior classes, he rose from county councilman to become the youngest member of the United States Senate at the age of 29. His efforts to win the Democratic nomination for President in 1987 and in 2007 went nowhere. He was forced to end his first campaign when it was revealed that, in his standard stump speech, he was representing British politician Neil Kinnock’s inspiring life story as his own, in Kinnock’s words verbatim, and that was when he was in his prime and still lucid.

Having grown rich as a Senator, he had appeared to top off his corrupt political career as Vice President under Barack Obama, with his drug-addled son, Hunter, serving as his international bag man.

But in a larger sense, we cannot deprecate, we cannot denigrate, we cannot belittle this man. Those who now control what is purported to be the government of the people, by the people, and for the people have, in their wisdom, selected him for the highest office in the land with a blatantly fraudulent election. In consideration of the foundation of copious, gigantic lies, such as those surrounding the Kennedy and King assassinations, the Oklahoma City bombing, and 9/11, upon which the country currently rests, it is, unfortunately, altogether fitting that it should come to this.

David Martin